You Know

You know..in Matthew 26:39, ..when Jesus said "My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering from me! Yet not what I want, but what you want"

I know it was filial of Jesus to say such a thing. But does it imply that He did not want to (willingly) accept the sacrifice? And with that, when one doesnt WANT to do something, does it imply He didn't really want to go through it? I'm grateful He made the sacrifice, don't get me wrong, but..I'm trying to examine the fact that if one doesn't want to do something willingly, but recognising it's still the RIGHT thing to do, would it not make the person insincere...ok..I'm not gonna look up the definition of sincerity, but..the way I look at sincerity, is an act that is done from the heart, e.g willingly.

I'm stuck now with something. There's something I should do (though I don't know if it's the RIGHT thing to do...it's not clear to me) I do know it'll make several people happy...relieved even, but because it's been a while, I take it..acceptance of the situation has occured? The reason I don't let it bother me..is probably because this decision involves someone who I have no care for anymore? I think it's also because I don't want it (if things change) to happen so that I START caring again? Hmm...lemme do a check of pros and cons

Pros
1. It'll make the one I love happy ( I don't know how much)
2. It'll make several other people happy (at least 2 persons)
3. Normality might ensue? But...this is a pro for others rather than for me

Cons:
1. I'm not willing to do it..hence my questionable sincerity
2. The proceedings might force me to behave with a clear facade.
3. I risk being hurt the same way(s) in the future.
4. I have already decided (same on the other side, though the action from the other side contradicts what was said) Selfishness and egotism on whose side?
5. This list could be biased